Capelle On Golf

I laid awake last night wondering what it would be like to be Tiger Woods now. It’s not easy to put yourself in another’s shoes, but I tried. I came up with this list of things that would be troubling me. But I’m not sure if Woods thinks of these things because if he did, he never would have gotten himself into this mess.

Still, if you were Tiger Woods, and you were at all aware of the world going on around you, you would know that:

You’ve still got all the money you’ll ever need
Stevie is going to stay loyal
Elin may let you keep Privacy
jokes are being made about you
you are now a cartoon character and a laughing stock

most women hate you
your wife almost surely detests you, and her family as well
you’re going to lose tens of millions in endorsements annually
you’re headed towards a messy divorce
you kids’ lives are going to be so much more difficult

you’ve let down your fans
many of your friends will desert you
those who remain on your team are doing so for the money
you are on the scandal media’s A-list and will be heavily scrutinized the rest of your career
you’ve disappointed the millions of kids who idolized you

you’ve hurt the PGA Tour, which is struggling for sponsorships
you’ve let your sponsors down
you’ve been a fraud
you may have violated the drug policy you pushed for
you’re going to be heckled by the galleries

winning majors is going to be so much harder
many who wanted you to break Nicklaus’ record now want you to fail
you will have a family-less house to come home to
you have no one to share your life with except money grubbing women
you’ve let your parents down

But hey Tiger, if money can buy happiness, if the W is all that matters, and if you don’t have a conscience, then you should be just fine no matter what the rest of the world thinks of you. Up till now, you haven’t cared about anyone but yourself. Why should the future be any different?